Plateaus: When Your Relationship Isn’t Where You Want It to Be After an Affair or Addiction

Have you ever reached a point in your own healing, or in your relationship, where you thought to yourself: is this truly as great as it's going to get? Perhaps you've found yourself fairly delighted, but simply not satisfied with the repair you've done? Like many, you may have likewise felt like you or your relationship were making excellent strides, revealing ongoing momentum and promise, and now you feel stuck. You may discover yourself on a plateau. Often, a plateau can be misinterpreted as an ominous indication that something is seriously incorrect, when in reality, it may simply be time for a minor tune up to your own repair work or your relationship's. In today's video, you may be alleviated to hear that plateaus in recovery are 100% normal, and even to be expected. Today, shares down-to-earth ideas on how to acknowledge plateaus in recovery work, along with how to push previous them to discover fresh momentum and a brand-new level of healing.

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is an survivor and is among many factors to Affair Recovery's Survivors' Blog site,. He took part in Affair Healing's courses developed by founder and professional Rick Reynolds, LCSW. After finding recovery, hope, and brand-new life, wishes to share his journey and what has to offer with others so they too can find hope and healing.

Plateaus: When Your Relationship Isn’t Where You Want It to Be After an Affair or Addiction

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About the Author: Renee Love


  1. She only wants to about relationship when she sees other women interested, been listening since d day in June of 2017, so done, gives me no choice

  2. Hey Samuel. I am the unfaithful. I’ve done a 3day. 10hrs of coaching. Follow multiple different affair dedicated YouTube channels. I’ve been no contact, moved 1200 miles away for 6months. I’m not getting better. The counseling has made it worse. Counseling has shamed me for my sex drive. I’ve read books. Have done tremendous personal growth. But I’m numb and depressed. I can’t enjoy my new promotion, 40lb weight loss or anything. My betrayed tries one day and is unsafe the next. I’m dismissive avoidant. Every blowout shuts me off. I just don’t care if this works. I’m ok with being alone

    1. Ben Scott: Maybe you need to pursue the root of the problem which is dismissive avoidant. Have you researched the causes of dismissive avoidant behavior? What happened in your childhood that caused you to become this way? The unprocessed traumas are carried into your adult life and prevent you from making emotional connections with people you love. I hope this helps. It’s something to think about before you give up.

    2. I can really sympathize with what your saying, I’m also the unfaithful. I wonder if you’ve researched love languages at all, it sounds to me like you may be physical touch and maybe your wife isn’t?? Maybe if you figure out what hers is you can both meet in the middle and try to rekindle the flame.

  3. As babies, we first do “tummy time”, then we roll over, then we sit up, then we crawl, then we stand, then we walk, then we run, etc. Each phase has its plateau before we get bored with inertia and attempt the next more difficult phase. It’s called GROWING. After a betrayal, we have to learn how to navigate in an unfamiliar environment, one step at a time. So, as you said, Samuel, a plateau denotes it’s time for the next step. The next more difficult phase, with deeper understanding. Thank you, Samuel.

  4. I liked this vlog. We are 3.5 yrs out. It’s good to hear about issues other than dealing with the initial shock and awe of d day and early on in the journey. I’m not minimizing that time. Those vlogs helped immensely. As you often say this meets me where I’m at. Recovery, I’ve learned is evolutionary. I could not see that early on. More like this please!

  5. I was an unfaithful spouse, and my wife and I feel the plateaus. Thank you for the encouragement today.

  6. Wow this was just what I needed to hear today. I have reached one of these plateaus and it has been hard for myself and explain to my husband who is the one that had the affair. We are working so hard on us that this gave me hope to know we will hit snags but should not give up.

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