After discovery or disclosure of an affair or sexual dependency, the betrayed partner is frequently overwhelmed with uncomfortable tips, sets off, and insecurities. Re-engaging mentally with the former unfaithful is tough enough, however even the thought of resuming sexual activity with their mate can send hurt partners into a panic spiral. As healthy as connection is, it is likewise terrifying to be susceptible once again, and both the betrayed and the unfaithful can be activated in those intimate minutes. When this happens there is a choice – to close down, or decrease.
If you find yourself desiring connection more than disconnection, then being deliberate, having a plan, and talking through complicated sensations with your spouse is key. While it might be hard to think, with the ideal resources, trauma work, and sincere communication on both sides, your relationship can grow and end up being even healthier and more satisfying than ever. Join Samuel and Stephanie in an honest conversation about what it indicates to reconnect after adultery, how to handle triggers, and how to move past temptations for comparison and impractical expectations.
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Glad to hear that you, two, are doing good. My Wife and I are doing a lot of those things for a while, now. I do love to snuggle. Being away from Home for a month at a time, i work on doing that a lot when i am at Home with her, to get that connection and to keep it alive.
I’m the unfaithful and physical intimacy with my spouse depresses me. I’m not attracted to her. She’s trying and way farther in recovery than myself. Cutting of the affair killed my sex drive. It makes me sad. I do not feel guilt or shame. I feel shame for ending the affair. But I only felt shame about lying about the affair. After I disclosed I was still in the affair for 2 years. I probably sound like a monster, but that is my truth. I’m enneagram 8w7 sx, entj-a, dominant, dismissive avoidant, empath, type a, alpha male, with angry mommy syndrome
I have been no contact for 5 months. We lived in the same apartment building. I moved 1200 miles away, but the ap has my heart and always will. I disclosed so my wife would leave. I’m just hollow