If your partner has cheated on you, or is cheating on you, the people in your life are probably telling you to divorce, eliminate them, make them spend for what they've done … However you understand what? That might be the greatest error you ever make in your life. Why? Let's talk about that.
Time Stamps:
0:00 – Why you shouldn't listen to your buddies.
1:42 – High chance, low participation.
3:57 – Why should I not divorce a spouse who cheats?
6:13 – Other repercussions to think about.
8:55 – Why would you divorce your partner?
11:30 – The story of the lady who saved her hubby.
13:42 – What to do when you're so mad?
15:55 – What future do you want?
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#CheatingSpouse #Forgiveness #MarriageAdvice
Am really following keenly
Is there a resource about the different “types” of affairs (like you mentioned something called ‘high-opportunity/low-investment’)???
I have seen married couples with one spouse actively cheating or otherwise still actively in contact with the affair partner (e.g., still working with them, still texting them, still social media friends with them, etc) become very destructive and violent domestic situations.
Idk how common this is in generals but I have anecdotally and subjectively seen it many times.
Shouldn’t the couple be separated somehow if the cheating spouse is still choosing to move toward the affair partner in some way (rather than moving away from the affair partner)? Otherwise it could easily be unsafe.
Already tried and he had another affair for a year and a half with the same woman!!! He’s now back with this woman while married to me and he has asked me for a divorce!!!
After all of this I am still praying for God’s will be done and I feel so ignorant in even praying this…. It’s very obvious that this man doesn’t want to be with me and I am okay with that. I’m excited for the future God has for me going forward!!!
Edit to say:
I use to be so very Angry but I’m not like that anymore, i don’t feel that in my heart anymore!! I believe he may have some guilt bc of things he still does!!!
Good luck, I wish you all the best.
Everyone being cheated on needs to take a hard look at themselves and figure out things about co dependence, narcissistic traits, attachment styles, BPD traits, etc. There is a lot to learn of oneself generally there is no innocent party involved in the affair sometimes maybe but rarely it generally a result of two disfunctional people that lacks healthy communication and feels the need to cheat.. The best thing one can do it take your attention off the affair partner and focus on getting yourself some help healing and address the flaws you have. There is no guarantee this person will change, my ex never did, still instagram. Still spending money she dont have still dating different men. The best thing I did was work on me. And yes there was a lot wrong with me as well. It takes humility and a lot of self responsibility to own up to your part.
This right here is the way forward !!
Sorry. Cannot disagree more.
The woman you spoke of who did the work to save her husband, the one who had the problem within him…I’m interested to know what course of action that takes from the perspective of the wife in the situation you shared. Especially when the spouse needing the work is not the one doing the work
Very enlightening
It’s not so much the affair, it’s the fact that you were betrayed by the person that you love is what makes it so painful! Throughout our marriage I always suspected that my wife was cheating! Of course when I found out for certain, I would learn that she was a serial cheater.
My first reaction was to get a divorce! However, with three small children, I realized that being with them was far more important than my feelings. I felt an obligation to make sure that my children were raised to the best of my ability! I also realized staying married would be best for their nurturing.
Now man years later, I feel like I’ve done the right thing! I’ve seen through others just how disruptive divorce can be for the healthy development of a child. My wife is a good mother! We chose to bring children into this world! A lot of responsibility comes with that!
As far as my marriage, I’ve taken a different approach. “It’s not cheating if you know about it” and make it acceptable! In essence, it amounts to an “open” marriage!
Now the funny thing. Once she had the green light to be with other men, it somehow killed the urge. Post menopause might of helped too!
Anyway, I could go on about this! But, the bottom line is – you can never truly forgive, and you certainly cannot forget! But as with the other cruelties of life, you have to move forward and make the best of things!
Think about this, there are marriages where neither partner cheats, and yet they still hate each other!
Did you find the impact of the second time was diminished. The first time I was absolutely devastated, the second time I was upset but just kind of got over it and didn’t even bother taking it personally. I already knew he wasn’t the person I fell in love with anymore.
Respect to you for staying with her to be a dad to your children. That took strength of character.
Military moves put a marriage/children to a great test.
I disagree because if I sleep with another man who just happened to “perform” better than my spouse, and my spouse forgives me, that lover will forever be on my mind every single time my spouse and I make love.
Same with the man. He will forever remember that other body.