What do you do if your partner will not forgive you for having an affair? What if that affair took place years ago, and you thought you were on the roadway to reconciliation, and now they are telling you they desire a divorce?
Drawn from among our recent episodes of Relationship Radio, Dr. Joe Beam & Kimberly Beam Holmes describe what to do if your partner is holding on to unforgiveness and what you can do to restore the relationship and make the marital relationship better than it was before the affair even occurred.
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Interesting video.
If a wife has an affair, what does/did she expect? In the case you mentioned, I don’t think it’s a matter on the husband’s part of not having grieved… or not having “processed a loss”… perhaps it’s a matter of not being able to get over the betrayal. Trust is a lot like reputation… once a person betrays another, the thing is destroyed. There would be no “new you” in the wife, because he’d never know if he could trust her again.
I know if my husband went out on me, I would simply terminate the relationship. I wouldn’t grieve, fuss or cry; I’d divorce him, period, and realize and be happy that I had dodged a bullet.
Betrayal for some people is something not only that they can’t get over, but also that they shouldn’t be expected to get over, because it involves that strongly held basic value.