In this video, Tune Oseguera is going to teach you about how not to be taken advantage of in your marital relationship. By the end of this video, you will find out how to teach your spouse how to treat you, so you will not feel made the most of.
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I've read lots of short articles lately about the balance of power in a relationship. The concept of the balance of power began when nations embraced the posture of securing themselves versus another nation. At Marriage Assistant, our company believe that relationships should not be a location to take a defensive stance against your partner, however rather have a shared respect, where you honor the needs and wants of your spouse.
If a number of equally worked together, they can produce an environment where each of them get what they desire need by showing respect, instead of one or both spouses feeling benefited from. Everything begins with compromise. We all require and wants that we would like our spouses to meet, simply as they require and desires that they want us to fulfill. The majority of what we have actually seen at marriage helper is that people stop working to communicate their expectations or their needs and wants in a relationship.
This primarily occurs for 2 factors. One, there's worry of rejection or judgment. And two, we presume that our spouse is wants or needs in a relationship or the same as ours. Both of these cases are really regrettable, and it right away sets the relationship of for turbulence and possible failure, and can typically feel as though our spouses are taking advantage of us. Dr. Joe beam has created a system that assists couples explore their needs in a relationship.
He says you ask, who are you? What do you want? What needs healing? What has to begin in what needs to stop? These are questions that each partner ask themselves in preparation for negotiating expectations. One couple that I was working with had actually been married for a number of years and found themselves with an empty nest. Among their battles is they grew apart due to the fact that they were focused on profession and raising kids. And they fail to cultivate their relationship. They informed me, we just don't have anything that connects us any longer. And we don't understand how to make each other happy. My question to them was this, have you asked each other? What would bring joy? Or what would make each of you feel liked, liked and respected in your relationship? They told me Well, we have not even considered doing that.
I showed them that in order to have your needs and wants fulfilled in a relationship, you have to communicate what those things are in order to feel love, liked and appreciated. Prior to you interact them, you need to first explore what those things are for yourself. When you know what you need. Because you have actually asked yourself the questions then you're prepared for the next step, which is start communicating those things to your partner, and then negotiate through the process. In negotiating your requirements. You wish to keep in mind that the objective is to develop an environment where your core requirements are met. But your desires become locations that are more fluid. Dr. John Gottman says that you ought to have areas of rigidness, and then areas of versatility.
So when negotiating your needs and wants here are the areas to bear in mind and after that communicate these things. What are you going to do? What you're not going to do? What options will you offer? And then what compromises are you happy to make? In every relationship there's going to be compromise, so why not work out with a person they have invested energy and time and love into currently. The method to not get taken advantage of is to communicate what your wants and needs are and make a shared effort together to lionize to your spouse by listening.
Your spouse may not be purposefully trying to take advantage of you, but may be missing out on the target. Communicating these things to your spouse can create an environment where you feel respected. As I stated at the start of this video, the frame of mind of preserving the balance of power in a relationship pits the couple against each other. We wish to assist create an environment for couples that is full of regard where they collaborate to negotiate and meet each other's wants and needs.
Tell me in the comments if you have taken time to think through what you require in your relationship. And if you have actually plainly interacted that to your partner. Now none of these things in this video are going to assist if you and your partner do not equally wish to remain in the relationship. So if you wish to remain in the relationship and your spouse does not then click on this link for a small course on how to get your spouse back. I hope this video has actually been useful. I will see in the next video.