What to do if your partner is immature
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#PaulFriedman
Thank you! Your videos are reminding me to keep an open heart. Do you advise that perspective in all relationships (friends, family, and work) or specifically for our partners.
That’s one of my problems about my husband. You know when he is not responsible enough because of him being immature or cause he wanna through all of it on me, and here I am speaking about financial and labor at home, well I am like is this love!!
Being completely honest, I have watched/read several of your videos/comments up till now and had mixed feelings. Mixed because I felt some of your advice would require one to be delusional and put up with a spouse’s negative traits with a smile. Something clicked for me in this video. The realization that we can feel happier in marriage (and personally as well) by simply flipping a switch in our minds to change our perception of an annoying trait into a positive one (i.e., instead of immaturity, see it as a cute childlike quality) is very simple but really profound. I struggle with depression and realize it is due to the unconscious habit of habitually choosing to entertain negative, unloving thoughts about both myself and others. Bam. Simple as that. According to this video, I can consciously choose to simply tell any negative thought that pops up to take a hike and instead think of a positive one. I’ve resisted this type of strategy because I want to remain grounded in reality, but I realize that perception can be what you CHOOSE (glass is half full, yada yada) and choosing positivity is not choosing a delusion necessarily. It does mean the difference between happiness and misery, though. If it’s that simple, why wouldn’t I do that?
I loved how you spoke about letting love flow through you. It made me understand that when we allow ourselves to be conduits of love from a higher source (God, the Universe, or energy or whatever you believe), the love that flows through us to our spouses and everyone is also received by us in the process, and we can experience the emotional healing that love causes. Love engenders understanding and acceptance of perceived faults and can transmute them into endearing qualities if we so choose. Wow, this puts a different spin on the prevailing mantra of “self love” that is touted everywhere it seems. That brand of self-love sounds good on paper but it just seems a bit narcissistic to me and I couldn’t quite get with it. I think the truth about it is that choosing to allow God’s love (or whatever source you believe it comes from) to flow through us to others and choosing to see the good in others will enable us to also see the good in ourselves.
Thanks for allowing me to rant on. I’m truly grateful for the words of wisdom you’ve shared. Thank you so very much.