Negotiations and Your Divorce: The Single Greatest Mistake You Can Make
Negotiations are stressful. And when it concerns working out a divorce settlement, they are even worse. In today's video, I wanted to share with you one of the most common mistakes I see individuals make when trying to work out a divorce settlement, and what you can do to avoid this mistake when you are going through a legal separation or divorce in North Carolina.
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Negotiations and Your Divorce: The Single Biggest Mistake You Can Make
Here’s a blog post I wrote about this topic as well. https://jameshartlaw.com/practical-advice/the-single-biggest-mistake-people-make-in-negotiating-their-divorce-settlement/
My house was gifted to me by my mother. Paid for, I made the mistake of getting married and trying to be the good man and put my ex wife name on the deed. Now we are getting divorce and she’s trying to take the house! That house was mine for years.. I’m fighting for my house back! Being a good man gets you. Burnt
Btw I signed the loan at the end of the previous year before I knew I was being ripped off
You are telling the truth. The “system” just isn’t structured for a “good man”. I’m paying the ultimate price right now bc I did the right thing with the wrong person. Everything I did that was good was used against me. Sad, but if you’re foolish enough to marry under this rigged system you have to go into it a s a shrewd “businessman” rather than a “good husband”. For the life of me I can’t understand how the system has not been updated and adjusted!!!
How awful she must be that she’s wants something that wasn’t hers to begin with
I always say, everybody should have emergency funds because you never know what’s going to happen. You can meet with the most perfect person on earth and suddenly things change and you need to get out now. What’s your exit strategy?
The best strategy to protect your funds is to create a single and separate investment, one that generates profit short-term, so even in the worst case, the court is aware of your investment it doesn’t have jurisdiction on the profits.
I just tripped over this video because I’m having another conversation/negotiation with my separated wife about the settlement. I wanted to revisit some of the basics like, don’t swear, don’t get angry, things like that, just to stay on top of things. This advice was unexpected and it’s dead-on. I’m in about the 5th month of this ‘pause’ phase and time-out after almost signing an agreement that was about half of any estimate of an equitable distribution. The ultimate people pleaser and she was the alpha. It’s given me a chance to reflect and gain some strength in myself. It’s helped in changing the dynamic as well. Still a long way to go in the growth and strength department. Her lawyer’s tactics worked and really got inside of me. and I’m 65. But that’s the way it goes. No more breakfast in bed – it’s divorce. Act accordingly. Great advice and thank you for the refresher.
Everyone needs to heat this for child custody. Do not agree to anything that’s not in the best interest of your child and your relationship with the child.
Get a hearing.
Thank you Mr.Hart for your advice.
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Very informative! thanks for this.
Wife left me 3 weeks ago after 22 years of marriage. I am 75; she is 72. i was NOT a abusive husband…NEVER touch her once…We argued alot, but never fought. She abandoned me. told me she was leaving; and 3 days later…completly gone. What grounds do I have?
She abandoned you simple divorce, she walked away , go see a lawyer ASAP file for divorce.
Many people are buried/dead by the hands of a partner who had no prior history of “ touching” them…. Just because someone hasn’t laid a hand on a person (yet) does NOT mean there isn’t abuse taking place. Verbal and emotional abuse are precursors to physical abuse.
If your goal is to try to win her back she feels abused so you need to talk to her and understand she feels how she feels. And hold yourself accountable and show her how you are improving on this aspect of self. If she sees the improvement she may be willing to give you another chance.
I agree definitely slow things down, do not be forced to make big decisions quickly, make sure you gray rock which means keep your personality totally neutral do not lose your temper, do not make stupid mistakes due to emotions as this can be used against you. And make sure you get a lawyer. If you are dealing with a narcissistic abusive relationship you have absolutely no protection without a lawyer to help you.
Yes I was in a narcissist abusive marriage
Lawyers who get paid by “billable hours” want the process to “slow down”.
That wasn’t my experience and I’m sorry if it was yours. It gets hot, I certainly did and it was to the point where my atty said once, ‘Look, I’m going away for a week and I suggest you do the same.’ I got the messg. The ink is dry now, It’s wonderful feeling. My best to all of you.
Exactly what I did!!! I’m hoping pays off
Excellent recommendation. It really does cause the other party to get super upset. Slow allows time to research, and see their options, what you may miss in a hurry. Thank you for sharing
Well done, thanks.
I’ve given my estranged husband 1 1/2 years who doesn’t want this..didn’t marry him to divorce him. Sure I busted him in lies but this past year he really ripped me off but after 13 years I trusted him but after abandoning me 3 times last year I looked at our joint account and threw up..
Thank you. Very helpful.
Thank you for this video. My husband’s been trying to get me to sign divorce papers because he is the alpha dog. I don’t like conflict and he’s always been controlling. So again thank you for this video ❤
Thank you for that good advice you came at the right time
Thank u Mr Carolina
Miss CT. Saw this and did u speak to me. These videos are helping me get thru a very ugly divorce
Especially being my own Attorney
Thank you
Hi Jim great video just a point if you can help My wife has got an attorney for our mediation hearing The judge ordered us to go to mediation before our final hearing
There’s no kids no assets no home Do I have to get an attorney or just list my points ready for the day of mediation & represent myself but as you mention I need to listen & not rush things
I’d rather not use an attorney for obvious reasons $ If the appointed mediator realises there’s no way forward possibly my ex is just being difficult
Will the judge see that or be informed of my wife being unreasonable
Lastly is it even worth attending mediation if I already know my wife’s aggression & her Attorny attitude & just let the judge make a decision on the final hearing
Thanks Jim
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